Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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