capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
