I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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