Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize