i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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