I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Fuck appropriateness.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
