we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
