just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the condom got lost in my hair
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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