I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Someone came in the potted fern
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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