someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
