The brown eye won't let me do that either.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize