i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
