You're completely useless in the revolution.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
