you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
as a side note pls kill me
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
