I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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