Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize