The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
