Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
