when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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