let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
