Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
