yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize