What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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