Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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