im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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