i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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