plz talk dirty to me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
