she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize