I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
