im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
