4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do vagina's smell?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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