# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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