My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What a dumb baby whore.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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