Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i think i just lost a toe
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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