Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
