Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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