im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
