Whod you bang
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
