I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
