Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
too bad you live with your parents still
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
