Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
