she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This is the high leading the old right now
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize