Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
