I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
well you can't waste a boner
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
