I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize