I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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