I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Operation Purity has been aborted
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
