Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
