So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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