haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So vagazzling was a success
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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