i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
