I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
