I have demons in me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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