I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
