i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
