the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
