i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize