I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize